Mother's Day Sandcastle - Created By San Diego Sandcastles, Hubby & Molé Mama
First of all, if your mother earned her heavenly passport stamp, I'm very sorry for your loss. None of us are wired to lose our mamas' irreplaceable love, and it's ok to feel however your feeling. My wish is that you have the support you need.
This is the 12th Mother's Day without my beautiful Mama, Rose. Those first few years after earning my motherless daughter title were the absolute worst. Seeing Mother's Day cards and receiving retail emails encouraging me to spoil my mom with flowers, chocolates, etc., broke my heart. I would never be able to pamper her again. I unsubscribed from every brand that sent me an email and avoided retail stores, and it became my least favorite time of the year. And as a mother, I knew I had to somehow shift my attitude toward this annual celebration.
Thankfully, I've been able to use cooking as a way to reconnect and feel my sweet mama's presence in my kitchen. Her legendary Spanish Rice recipe still causes me to get teary-eyed. I literally feel like she's standing next to me as I brown the long-grain rice in hot oil. And when I add the onions, and spicy broth, the rich aroma fills my house, and I feel her around me. And I'm reminded that she is always with me.
In addition to cooking, I’ve found several ways to reconnect with my mother. I hope they help you too.
Tips for Motherless Daughters On Mother’s Day
Cook her recipes.
I hosted a Mother's Day lunch for some of my favorite female friends and their families a few years ago. I made some of my mama's delicious recipes and gifted them all a box of her favorite chocolates. We had a lovely day, and it was so healing to share my mother's yummy food and stories of her endless chocolate hiding places; she shared everything except her favorite candy.
Celebrate your mother.
Do something she loved to do, go to a movie, visit a park, anything you know your mother would have loved, and remind yourself how happy she'd be that you were doing something she enjoyed. One year I had a movie day and watched Moonstruck, When Harry Met Sally, and Overboard; her favorite movies that we had watched together countless times, and it brought back so many fond memories.
Write your mother a letter.
I've written my mom so many letters since she died, and I found it to be incredibly healing and a way to connect with her. I usually start with good news and imagine how happy she’d be for us. And then I fill her in on bad news, anything else I want her to know.
Celebrate you.
My mother encouraged me to slow down, relax, and rest all the time. She worried about me being a full-time, highly stressed-out working mother. In the past years, I've gone to a spa, spent the day hiking, taking a long beach walk, and thanked her for reminding me to refuel.
Plant a special flower or garden.
I grew up on a dairy farm and love gardening and putting my hands in the dirt. I have a variety of her favorites growing in our yard, and it makes my heart smile as I think about how much she'd love them too.
My beautiful Mama Rose
One last thing, I'd love to fill Facebook and Instagram with beautiful photos of our heavenly mamas this Mother’s Day. Please consider sharing your favorite photo; tag me @mole_mama, and I will share too.
And if you have a recipe that helps you reconnect to your mother, please direct message me, as I’d love to share it and her story with our community of food lovers!
Please get in touch with me if you need help recreating one of her Mexican, Portuguese, or Meat & Potato recipes; I may be able to help you. I’ve already helped so many home cooks recreate their loved ones’ lost recipes.
Be well.
Un fuerte abrazo (A big hug),
Molé Mama